3 Common Mistakes to Avoid on Your College Essays

Many argue that the crux of any college application is the essay. From the perspective of a college admissions officer, this makes perfect sense. The essay provides admissions officers with a glimpse at an applicant’s personality and life experiences, beyond his/her GPA and SAT score. The best way to make an application stand out is to write an enticing narrative that paints a mental picture of the role that (s)he would play at the university. 

A well-written essay can be the pivotal instrument in getting to the “Yes” pile. A sub-par essay can… well, you get the idea. Below are 3 of the most common mistakes that our consultants see while reviewing essays. Be sure that you don’t make one of them!

1) Telling instead of showing
The truth of the matter is talk is cheap and words are meaningless unless backed by actions. See below for an example of a student that we helped:

Original:
I believe that my innovative personality makes me a strong candidate for Brown University.
Edited:
Creator of an automatic program that opens all of the most used apps on the iPhone and President of the Robotics club, I...

In the original, unedited version, the applicant informed the admissions officers that he has an innovative personality. This sort of narrative may be fine in a normal “about me” piece in high school but ranks average, at best, in the admissions process.

The edited version conveys that innovative spirit using the applicant’s experiences and leadership roles. This is a much more readable and interesting way to make a claim. Make sure your essays are showing and not telling, and your readers will be more engrossed and interested.

2) No overall theme
There are very few things worse than reading an essay that has no theme to tie everything together. While it is understandable for the applicant to want to convey how colorful and diverse his or her interests are, oftentimes the result will seem misguided, jumbled and chaotic. Instead of trying to convey a long list of positive traits in one essay, select one or two strong ones and elaborate on them to show depth and complexity. 

A quick, useful test that we often suggest is to ask a friend to read your essay, wait 5 minutes, and then ask what main traits the friend remembers. If the friend struggles to answer or regurgitates a laundry list, the essay does not have an overall theme.

3) Not showing the colleges what you can contribute
This one is subtle, but very important. Let’s revisit the example from #1-

Original:
I believe that my innovative personality makes me a strong candidate for Brown University.
Edited:
Creator of an automatic program that opens all of the most used apps on the iPhone and President of the Robotics club, I believe I can contribute meaningfully to the research in the Astrophysics department at Brown University. 

Do you see the difference? While the original is about how the applicant is a strong candidate, the edited version, aside from showing rather than telling, conveys how the applicant can contribute to Brown University because of his innovative spirit. At the end of the day, colleges do not want to accept just anyone. Show that you have done your research and are already mentally invested in the university. Convey that you plan to be involved and have relevant interests.

Crafting the perfect college essay can be daunting! As always, EmpiricEdge is here to help. Don’t forget to contact us for your FREE consultation.